Christmas!

First thing first since it's christmas today, merry christmas!! It's 11pm now, well i somehow enjoyed my christmas after all. (no pictures, ugh)

Lets start with yesterday, planned to meet cynthia to 13cells for christmas but we didn't in the end as she wanted some shopping and since i wasn't certain we planned to meet at orchard she thought it'd be crowded therefore we alighted at somerset instead, but she was still a few stations away when i reached and baby told me he was at cine, i walked over first. :)

met baby and co, cynthia then came. Went to had late, late, late dinner at HDF with cynthia well the chicken baked rice isn't that bad but because i didn't had much appetite therefore i left more than 1/2 of it untouched. Cynthia had this passionate fruit and peach tea sort of drink, it was fuckin' sweet, zomg! But it's really cheap to dine there.

Went over to K Pool because baby's there, sat there and missed christmas countdown. But something really funny took place, forget about the jokes. Cab over to boatquay, but cynthia went over to zirca instead. Stayed there till almost 5am or later, cab over to poh's, slept my christmas day with baby there. HAHAHA woke up late and cab home. Alright, that's all!

"In my seventeen years of living i enjoyed christmas most this year, not because i've much of fun but instead it's because santa sent someone special to enjoy this particular day with me, although it's almost like just-another-day but it just feels different, i love you".

My hard work paid off!

Yay, i'm finally done with my blog skin, woohoo. I know it looks kiddish, well i prefer the previous myself but i think it's pretty boring looking at the same old blog skin everyday, right? Hehe, i spent almost an hour on this and i totally forgot about my television programmes! :( Even with my brother nagging me to switch on the tv because he is lazy, i didn't, yeah too engrossed. :\

Well, this blog skin turned out fine, i should say. Luckily my hard work don't go to waste, i tried many other base codes but they don't work well for me, sucks much! I know i can simply get skins from blogskins.com and paste at my template section, no, no, no, if i were to do this, i'm so going to have so-common-blog-skin just like anyone else. :B

I'm starving right now, mom and dad are both not back yet! I haven't got to eat a proper meal the whole of today! Imagine i woke up at 940 in the morning yet haven't had a proper meal, it's 845pm now!! I hope, dad and mom would be back home soon. Pretty please.

Not forgetting chirstmas is so, so, so, so near just 3 days away but funny thing i don't feel excited at all not like the usual yrs we'd die for xmas to come! But i'm going for a whole new xmas this yr, i don't get a different feeling, but at least someone sweet has come by and stood by me all these while. Any of my wishes that i made during last yrs' xmas could don't come true, since i've you. I love you, j. :)

Been 2 days..?

To be specific it's been two days since i blogged? Well, it's not like a million years but i just don't feel comfortable, can't figure out why either, it's like something is clinging on to me and i just want it off my chest! Honestly i've no idea who the fuck will be reading this page, maybe, perhaps, probably none? Ha! I don't care, because at the end of the day, i will be reading this at least?

I haven't been well recently or yes, for already quite sometime.. I haven't felt better, i should say. Put this aside, but lately, i realised something ain't so right anymore. Not afraid anyone would know, since most of the people close already knew this, quite sometimes ago, this thing has been with me for years, no doubt. (sarcastic laugh)

I used to think no one bother nor care about what might ever happen to me, be now, later or even tomorrow, therefore i chose to talk to things around me, rather than people who acted like they cared. I think i love myself more, so by all means i talk to myself more often than talking to anyone else, i daydream, i hallucinate, i tend to be awaken up by nightmares but surprisingly i wasn't sleeping at all?

I feel that someone else is following, living with me all these while. Polluting my innocent thinking, making me feel upset, i don't like this at all. But who can i go to? No one. Because no one could ever understand how this feels, at times when i really need someone's advices, this weird feeling within me, tells me all the negative possibilities and i forbid i feel really uncomfortable, but i feel worse going with the flow. Who could understand? None.

Lately things are getting worse, when i look into the mirror, i realise i cannot recognise that girl standing there, i see hatred filled in that pair eyes, it's like as though i seeing someone else, someone whom i never seen before in my whole life. What is going on. I tried, to reflect on some other posts in 2009, cause i remembered posting something like this back then.. but surprisingly, i already removed that blog. So forget it.

Soon i'll private this blog, i guess. Whatever it is, it's getting pretty late, the skies are darken, i should turn in soon, bye? Met my twin.... yet? :')

Marina Barrage

After seeing what i've totally forgot about, doesn't remind me anything of the past, instead it reminded me to always treasure people around me. Especially you baby and never i want to lose you anymore. I want to keep you close, closer than i ever did before. ♥

Yesterday was quite a long day for me, woke up in the morning, had breakfast first. Mom planned to head to aunt's place, left home at 2. It rained along to journey that caused the slight traffic conjunction, mom wanted to get something from tampines mall therefore dad dropped us and head off to aunt's with bro earlier.

After she got her things, 291 to aunt's place because there were so many people queuing at the taxi stand (how annoying) but it's okay, reached aunt's house, grandma was there! baby said he's bringing me to the movies therefore i check for the movie premier timing at cineleisure. :)

had lunch/dinner there first, mj a little left her place at 8pm? dad dropped me at toa payoh because mom says, cineleisure is no where along the way, plus it's too inconvient for me to train there directly, because i still have to bus to the interchange! took train from tpy to somerset, baby then reached after me. hehe.

they went to pocket pool first and we missed the 925 show, thought of the 1150 one, therefore baby and his friends went kfc for dinner, but the same thing took place again, then we forgot about watching. i missed both movie premier, LOL! but it's okay.. i guess? um, headed off to marina barrage roughly 2am.

It rained and somehow it was pretty boring, probably a little? Sat there till 5 or later in the morning and walked to raffles stn, it was really, really, really, really far, was starving on the way but mrt with baby to amk breakfast there over at his crib at 9, was really unwell then. cab home 10? got home roughly 1030 in the morning.

slept, till 6 in the morning, i assume. :\ dad cooked spaghetti, yay! fall right back to sleep after eating it's 1130 now and i just woke up awhile ago feeling still a little unwell and tired all over, sleepy somehow? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME, TELL ME WTF IS WRONG WITH ME?!! It's been a long time since i took pictures, therefore all the pictures uploaded are somewhat long ago...


Shared online blogshop urls with miranda and i love this!

Fuck Friday

Slept before 2am last night, woke up at 1130am this morning feeling a little unwell, like usual, ugh. Dad made sandwich as breakfast for brother and i. :)

It's 420pm now time passes really very quickly sometimes, just an hour ago my stomach was giving me hell, vivien called and i complained everything i could to her and i'm better now. Didn't know it works! Dad came home with lunch, nasi lemak again, i just had it yesterday. :\

Probably i should online shop again? I've been doing this since i started surfing and even did this last night before going to sleep with cynthia, we both got so tired looking at clothings online, almost all the blogshops are selling the same piece of top, just because it's some korea, taiwan trend and mass preorder?

Some are so absurd that it takes weeks to a month just to reach you. Hello? I can always get from any typical shopping centres. It's nonsense isn't it? Well, but still i somehow liked this jacket just abv this paragraph, i think the red one is somehow a pretty piece, they've 2 other alternate colours though.

I showed this to cynthia and she said something like this "you always like those furry, furry clothings" actually quite true uh!! She has obviously been stalking me! :B hehehe.

I don't want to..

First thing first! I started on a new formspring account! Ask/tell me anything there, replied only one of the seven questions given by them. :P Well, it's not compulsory though why waste time?

Woke up roughly at 930am today, told you people i'm used to sleeping in the night waking up in the day didn't i! But what really annoyed me this morning or instead almost most of the mornings i wake up to is that, i'll feel very unwell, felt like vomiting yet, feeling disgusting. What is seriously wrong? I don't know.

Been surfing on the net looking through different blogs, no, i'm not a stalker i just suddenly felt like doing it, i saw so many upsetting posts from different people, i might not know them personally, but i felt bad for them.., but i realise the more i come across blogs with upsetting post, i start to hallucinate. Ugh!!

But honestly, i do this because i'm afraid i might lose you, i'm afraid someday i'd have to post, 10 times more heartbreaking post compared to theirs. I might always put up a strong front, but i am not at all i guess? I get paranoid over almost everything is happening now, feeling somehow a little insecure. Why?

When will i eventually get over this? I realise i'm mentally drained instead of physically exhuasted, this sucks much. I feel uncomfortable doing almost anything, sometimes i don't even feel like talking. Most of the times, i would sit down alone, the this beautiful balcony of mine, looking at the dark skies. Talking to the stars instead of anyone else.

It somehow felt nice, sometimes i just felt like talking someone but i don't seek for advices nor sympathy, but i know there might be no one who will keep shut the whole conversation. So i did this instead. I felt unhappy, very very unhappy when it comes to night time some nights, probably i've been thinking too much lately. :')

I really hope, i could get over this soon. I'm like no longer myself, i don't want to let any of my darlings worry, they've their holidays trip to enjoy, work to attend and dorisa just flew off last afternoon. I know, they always tell me i'm not alone. I might not be physically but i guess i am mentally. My world seemed to enclosed, as though i'm living in any other planet with no one around. No one could possibly understand my language..

What is all these? What are they all about?

First thing first, i'd like the thank cynthia for the whole night she gave me last night, i didn't expect myself to fall so hard once again, i've no idea what is this all about, but i just felt unhappy. Very, very unhappy indeed. I stopped after awhile, she went to bed at 2am as she still has work the next morning.

Woke up at 6am? From an unpleasing phone call, but it was fine after that. Why is it the all these is happening? What are they all about? Stayed awake till reporting in the late morning. Stayed on the net till roughly 10am that i went to shower left home at 11, i was supposed to reach at 11 instead. :$

185 there walked in, and guess what! My red hair was the center of attn, heehee. was awaiting for dad to come extend my bail he reached roughly 130pm, saw rachel we went over, she came to extend her bail too, she also told me a little about last night because she was there too. In the end dad bailed her together.

Left the station roughly 3pm? Went on seperate ways with her, went over to gp coffee shop bought lunch for brother together with dad, cab home after that because dad wasn't driving. Had lunch and went to nap after that, i was so tired and exhuasted, but waking up hallucinating what she told me. Wtf?

突然间很不开心啊!